How I Was Drawn to Collaborative and Proactive Solutions (CPS)
CPS is close to my heart for my son was a challenging child. It is my personal crusade to help children in difficulty.
When my son saw the list of difficulties a child was facing, he said: “Mom that's like me”, exactly.
I thought of this first time I heard Dr. Ross Greene speak about CPS. That’s when I decided to take it to children, to help parents and children facing difficulties in this post-covid age and social media threatening their lives.
His childhood was a challenging journey for both of us.
1. Dressing for school
Mornings were particularly difficult — getting him ready for school became a team effort involving my mom, two sisters, and me. Our collective goal was simple: ensure he reached the school van by 8:15 AM. We lived in a constant state of panic until he left. Only then could I sit down, attempting to soothe my nerves with a cup of tea.
Homework was no easier. A simple task — like writing a single alphabet ten times — could stretch into a gruelling 2–3-hour ordeal, leaving us both exhausted and frustrated. Nights often ended with fatigue rather than fulfillment. I believed my son was genuinely trying, yet nothing seemed to change. His teacher, however, labeled him as lazy. In response, I resorted to a system of rewards and punishments, hoping it would motivate him. But still, no progress.
As he advanced to higher grades, writing remained an overwhelming struggle. Spelling mistakes littered his work — three to four errors per line. His notebooks bore the glaring marks of the teacher’s red pen. He could articulate answers perfectly but could scarcely write them down. While social studies exams required long answers, he could manage only brief summaries. Despite knowing the content, his scores stagnated around 50%. I increased the pressure, believing it was the only way.
Spelling remained inconsistent. He could recite the correct spelling aloud but wrote it incorrectly. By Grade 7, his overall scores had dropped to around 70%, with math and social studies lingering at 50%. Desperate, I sought support from teachers, principals, and counselors. Most attempts felt futile.
But then, a school counselor stepped in — a beacon of hope. She persuaded the authorities to recognize his difficulties, ensuring his marks weren’t unfairly deducted. This support transformed his confidence. The once-daunting sea of red ink subsided. His spelling mistakes reduced dramatically, from 3-4 per line to 3-4 per page. With newfound confidence, his scores leaped to 85% in the next exam.
Math, however, remained a formidable foe. Misreading questions caused him to start sums with incorrect numbers. In every exam, 3-4 sums were rendered incorrect by misunderstood statements, anchoring his math scores at 50%. His Hindi teacher, exasperated by spelling mistakes, often vented her frustration on me. I stood my ground, admitting there was nothing more I could do. Repeating spellings 5 or even 10 times didn’t work — the mistakes persisted.
Even his compass box was a source of distress. Missing items led to punishments at school. I eventually made a simple checklist, sticking it to the door as a reminder. Small interventions like these became lifelines. I introduced him to keyboarding and drawing to develop his motor skills. Tennis became his refuge, building resilience amidst academic struggles.
But despite it all, my son never gave up.
In Grade 12, he pursued science and scored an impressive 88% — far beyond the 50% he needed. He went on to clear the Common Law Admission Test (CLAT), securing admission to Gujarat National Law University (GNLU). Later, he pursued Bioethics at Harvard. He even had the honor of working under Ms. Indira Jaising at the Supreme Court of India. Today, he has embarked on his own independent legal practice. The same child who once struggled to write a single alphabet published his first book at the age of 26, under Penguin.
Looking back, I narrate our story with pride, but at the time, we lived in constant distress. Every day, we wondered what the future held for our brilliant child.
My heart aches for children facing similar struggles — those without the right adult to advocate for them. Without support, these children can easily lose their way.
That’s why Collaborative and Proactive Solutions (CPS) resonated so deeply with me. When I first heard Dr. Ross Greene speak, I knew in my heart that CPS could have been the solution to all my son’s challenges — and to the challenges of countless other children. Sadly, resources like YouTube and online support weren’t as accessible back then. But for parents today, CPS is a powerful, transformative tool.
Why Choose Collaborative and Proactive Solutions?
CPS is not just a method — it’s a compassionate approach that fosters understanding and growth. It reduces disciplinary referrals, punishments, seclusion, restraints, and suspensions. By using CPS, you’ll gain insight into your child’s concerns and nurture a deeper connection with them.
If your child is struggling, give CPS a chance. You may just discover a new path forward — one paved with patience, empathy, and unwavering support.